Ring the alarm . . .

Because I was on fire last night! I don't know what was in the air, but somehow I found myself in "the zone". I achieved that perfect balance of intoxication, wit and raw sexual energy. I got to the bar a little early and was alone, waiting for Chris to show up. I started feeling a little self-conscious, but told myself fuck it, I'm here to get drunk with my friends, not to win a beauty contest.

As the night wore on, I maintained a healthy buzz and started scanning the room, as a single boy is prone to do. That's when the eye sex started. My first victim, er uh target, was a cute former co-worker of another lady in our group. The eye sex with him went on for at least an hour. At one point we ended up in the bathroom, but no bitches, nothing happened. I'm classier than that! I waited outside the door for him and we chatted for a few moments. Maybe a few kisses were exchanged, but nothing too disgusting. Digits were exchanged and then we parted ways.

Over the rest of the night, there were two boys I engaged in the eye sex. I even grew so bold as to approach and speak to one of them. I just felt so confident and sexy for some reason. Maybe it is the beard. I always seem to do better with catching eyes when I have facial hair. Thank God I can grow a beard in less time than it takes for a pizza to be delivered.

Oh, and just so the record is clear, I did go home alone thank you very much. What a difference a few years make. The first time I lived alone in Dupont, I definitely would have had company after a night like last night! I did, however, stop in 7-11 on my way home. Maybe I had a craving for some taquitos and a lunchable. Shut up! It is my drunk food of choice for some unknown reason.