I love New York

This blog is a week over-due. Sorry, but our trip to NYC really kicked my butt. I spent all last week trying to catch-up on sleep from roughly 72 hours of insanity.

Chris and I kicked off the trip in style. And by style, I mean Greyhound. Only the best for us! We got to the city around 8 and split up to meet up with various friends. I met up with my friend Rob and hung out at his place. Can I just tell you that Rob is one of the sweetest people on earth? He bought me the new Tori box set!! I was shocked. I absolutely love the box set, so if you are a Tori fan, I highly recommend it.

We showered and changed and then met up with Nick over at his place to pre-game. From there, we went out all over town. If I remember correctly, we started out at Urge, then headed to Eastern Bloc and ended the night back in Chelsea at Barracuda.

Let's go back to Eastern Bloc for a minute. I am pretty sure I fell in love there. The bar is this tiny little space, so small I'd be amazed if you can cram 50 or 60 people in there. Yet, they have enough room for a pole and go-go dancers.

I don't know why, but strippers and "dancers" make me uncomfortable. I feel like I shouldn't be looking at them, or that I am some dirty pervert or something. I have no clue why I feel this way, I just do. Usually, I'll just stand to the back of the crowd and observe from a distance.
When we got into the bar, I saw the dancer and my eyes just glossed over him. Standard twink with a nice body and skimpy underwear. Typical. A short while later, the dancers changed and the man of my dreams took to the pole. He was maybe 5'8" or 5'9", dark hair shaved close to his scalp, built body, but not overly sculpted, with a hairy chest and a leather jock strap, all man. Ugh, I almost melted.

For the next half an hour (as near as I can approximate), I was mesmerized by this dancer. My friends were possibly talking to me through all of this, but I have no clue. The rest of the world ceased to exist while he was working that pole. And I do mean working the pole.

Finally, I started feeling guilty for staring at him so much and not tiping him at all. I worked up the courage to approach him and slip a bill into his jock. I waited until he had his back turned to the crowd and made my move. I slipped what turned out to be a $10 into his jock and quickly went back to my spot away from the stage.

The dancer turned around and saw me leaving, then grabbed the bill and saw what I tipped him. He motioned for me to come back up, but there was no way I was going up there. I hate being in the spotlight as it is. Much less with this man who makes me weak in the knees right in front of me! In typical fashion the girls were yelling at me to get up there. The best comment came from none other than Chris. "Girl, for $10 you better go up there and at least jiggle his balls." Classy.

After he finished his time on the pole, I saw him standing back by the DJ. I used this as a chance to go and speak to him. I went up, and in true drunk Bernie fashion, told him I thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. He was actually quite humble and thought that I was just running lines on him. I assured him I wasn't and that I don't typical give dancers a $1, let alone a $10. He thanked me for my compliments and gave me a quick kiss. Shit, the world could have ended right at that moment and I would have died a happy man.

The rest of the night was typical Mean Girl drunk fun. The next day Chris, Nick and I spent together just the three of us. It was awesome to spend some quality time together and really catch up on our lives. It was long overdue. That night, Joey, aka Josefina, came into town for a night of dancing. We started at a house party our friends Nik & Jordan threw. From there, we headed off to Crobar to hear Tom Stephan spin.

It has been ages since I was at a straight dance club. That night reminded me why it has been so long. At least half of the guys in the club clearly took their fashion cues from the "Growing Up Gotti" boys. I don't know how the floor wasn't slimy with gel by the end of the night. And why do straight guys feel the need to be aggressive toward each other for no reason? I saw at least two "almost fights" on the dance floor. Regardless, we had a great time and danced for five hours non-stop.

The next day, we woke up late, had lunch and then started drinking. There were many obstacles to us getting home that night. Including, a failed car rental and a train delayed by nearly two hours. We finally pulled into Union Station at 2 AM. I was close to just coming straight to my office, since I only work one block away. But, my bed was calling my name, even if I'd only spend three hours in bed before getting up for work.

The rest of the week was spent trying to catch up on all the missing sleep from the weekend. Thank God for the extra hour this weekend. It was much needed!

Take control

Another long stretch of time between this and my past update. Its not that I haven't had things to say, I just haven't had the motivation to put them up here. Well, today I have the motivation. Boy do I ever have the motivation. Hope you are ready for a long post. I'll try to keep it light and entertaining though.

My job is killing me. Slowly but surely, I'm positive it is sucking the life right out of me. But, I am FINALLY taking steps in the right direction to change this.

Last week I was in a training class for three days on project management. I went into the class dreading it, certain that it was going to be extremely dry and boring. Miracle of miracles though, it wasn't boring. In fact, I was attentive and interested in the class for the entire three days. I realized that not only was project management interesting to me, I was good at doing it.

So, I've looked into it and found a school in the city that offers a reputable Masters program in Project Management. I'm going tonight to an information session on the program, and will hopefully start the process to get back to school. It is going to take a little time, but it will all be worth it in the end. Hopefully, I will one day have a job in project management, a job that doesn't put me to sleep every day, or make me leave the office ready to punch a hole in a wall because I was forced to take customer phone calls all afternoon.

That is only the beginning of the recent "Take Back My Life Campaign 06". I also joined a local gym a few weeks ago. I joined a gym that a few of the other girls already attend, partially in the hopes that they will be extra motivation for me to go regularly. Last week I went three times. That is huge for me. Of course, this week I've found excuses to get out of going. My only saving grace is that I have three sessions with a personal trainer to schedule. I'll feel much better about going to the gym after I meet with someone who can show me exactly how to achieve the goals I've set for myself.

I know it isn't going to happen overnight, but I already feel better about myself for just having started back at the gym. On top of "TBMLC'06", I somehow found myself on two dates with two different men in the last week. The first "date", and I use the word in the broadest sense of the term, was not to be a date at all. At least I didn't think so. After chatting online for a few days, we decided to meet up one evening to, ah well, "exchange pleasantries" as it were.

At the appropriate time, I showed up at his place, was invited in and offered a drink. So far so good. He excused himself to shower as he had returned from running some errands. No big deal. He then returned the living room and we sat on the couch and started chatting. For the next hour and a half. OK, I am not saying that he should have dropped to his knees immediately after opening the door, but come on. Not once in our chats did we have anything approaching actual conversation. At least I pray to God that he doesn't consider "woof" and "grrrr" to be conversation pieces.

The conversation itself didn't even bother me. At first. We discussed the typical things in the first ten minutes. Then things got weird. He pointed out all of his relatives in the pictures on his coffee table. Ok, sweet but unnecessary. Wait, I'm sorry. Did you say sons? And that was followed by grandson??? Uh, OK. I suppose I should mention that he is only 42 before anyone assume that I'm pulling an Anna Nicole. He mentioned an ex, then quickly backed up to clarify that by ex he meant former. Former because his partner was killed in the line of duty a year ago. Awesome. There went any remaining arousal I had.

From there the conversation only went down-hill and got progressively weird. Fine examples of this include the existential question lightning round and telling me that a palm reader said he will have two more kids while looking at me as if his stare would impregnate me like the Virgin Mary in Renaissance paintings. Umm, can we say too much??? Yes, exactly my thoughts.

As I was sitting there trying to think of an excuse to leave, hoping that ANYONE would call my phone (Hello? AT&T? Why yes, I AM interested in hearing about your long distance plans), I was saved by the bell. His daughter called to let him know she was on her way over with his grandson. Oops, too bad. Looks like I need to leave. Immediately. Needless to say I have not spoken to this man since.

The other person I met seemed decent enough. We chatted online one Friday evening, and everything was completely g-rated and non-sexual. We continued to chat for a few more nights before we progressed to nightly phone calls.

After a few nights of talking on the phone, we agreed to meet in person. We decided to get together Saturday afternoon. I let him decide on the activity. He chose to go apple/pumpkin picking out at a farm in Front Royal, VA. I had to give him points for originality. We had over an hour in the car to chat and get to know each other better.

The apple picking itself was more fun than I thought. When we've done it at my parents, we just always are picking up the apples off the ground. At this farm we got this long pole with a basket-type thing at the top. After a few tries, I was already and expert. You can take the boy out of the country, but apparently can't take the country out of the boy.

After we left the farm, we decided to head to a nearby winery for a wine sampling and made a light dinner. Funniest part of this is that he gave up drinking months ago, for weight-loss. Yeah, I had him splitting a bottle of wine with me less than a half an hour after we got there. I never said that I was a good influence!

We left the winery and headed back to the highway. We stopped at a cute little country restaurant for some down-home cooking. The drive back was so miserable. We were both tired and full from dinner and the wine. All either of us wanted was a nap!

By the time we got back to the city, I knew that it wouldn't be happening with he and I. I had a great time and all, but I just didn't feel any kind of spark. I helped him carry all his purchases up to his apartment and then said good night. I think he was planning to have me hang out there longer, but I didn't want to mislead him.

We have been playing phone tag ever since. This is the part of dating I really can't stand. Here is this really sweet guy, who came up with a totally original first date, and I have to tell him I am just not interested.

This is why I don't date. It always ends up with someone being hurt. Even if it is just a little, it isn't fun for anyone. I know, you can't have a rose without the thorns, blah blah, cliché.

One day I'll meet someone worth opening up to. One day I'll drop my defenses and allow someone access to all of me. Until that time, I'll continue living my life for me and trying to be the best friend/brother/son/student I can be.

Lust (aka Bear Camping)

Damn did I have a good time camping last weekend. I had no clue what to expect from this weekend. Jim has been telling me about it for over a year, but a couple stories don't quite live up to the real thing.

I left Friday afternoon and met Jonathan and Michael (two bear friends of Jim and his boyfriend) out at Silver Spring metro. We jumped on the road, and drove for what felt like days. Four hours later and we finally arrived at the camp grounds. By the time we arrived, it was dark, so I couldn't get a feel for the whole camp.

We went to Jim and Patrick's tent, where they had set-up air mattresses for all of us. Oh yes, their tent is big enough for five bears, and there is a power box at each camp site, so we all had air mattresses to sleep on. This was definitely not the same kind of camping I knew back in my days as a Boy Scout.

After setting down our bags, Jim started making drinks for everyone. After we all got a drink in us, we headed up to the main house to mingle with everyone else. The other campers were interesting to say the least. Most of them were in the 30-50 age range I'd say. Some of the guys were H-O-T, like fire. Of course, I felt like a kid in a candy store. I'll have one of those, two of those and just give me the entire box of that.

We stayed there for a few hours, then everyone headed off to bed. The next day we drove into the neighboring town and went to the Wal-Mart. And I thought that where I live is country. Boy was I mistaken. We made it back to the camp grounds in time for the hot dog roast at the main house. We all headed over to eat and mingle. After an hour or so, everyone went in different directions, leaving me alone. I stayed there, just people watching. After a few minutes, a very naked man came over, trying to get me to strip down. Oh, did I mention that this is a clothing optional camp-site? Yeah, it wasn't going to happen. I politely thanked him and then explained that I had no problems with nudity, but was not about to strip down. Come on, it is a struggle for me to get shirtless at the Lantern!

Regardless, it was a nice feeling to have someone that persistent about seeing me nude. Strange, but nice. I finally headed back to the tent for an afternoon nap. Next thing I know it is 8 PM and we are getting up for dinner in town. After dinner, we came back to the main house for the big party that night. Everyone headed off to bead around midnight, but I stayed up. I'll be damned if I drove four hours to the woods of PA to go to bed early! I ended up making friends with this big group of guys all hanging out. Most were there with their partners. They were good guys and I had fun talking with them.

The party finally ended around 2:30 AM. Now, I am not one to share all of my after-hours activities so to speak, but this is too great not to share. At the camp-grounds, there was one spot that everyone would go to for some "late-night political discourse" as it were. I went there, hoping to find someone to engage in a heated debate, of sorts. I went in and started discoursing with one gentleman, when a second came up and joined us. Then a third, then a fourth, then a fifth. At this point, I looked down and saw five different men "debating" me at the same time. I almost passed out from the thought of it. Never have I had that many people paying attention to me at one time.

After a few minutes of that, I left with one gentleman for a little one on one debate session. Needless to say, I didn't make it back to my own tent until 7 AM the next morning. Good times. That next morning we got up around 9 and started packing up to head home. Of course the minute we have the tent broken down is when it starts down-pouring. That part was not so much fun. Thankfully it only lasted a few minutes and we were able to get everything packed up in the cars without getting completely soaked.

I already told Jim he can count on me coming back at least twice next summer. I was definitely in my element out there in the woods. Grrrr.

so excited

There is a post coming all about Bear camping from last weekend, but before that, I need to tell all about my trip to see Janet on the Today show. Thursday night I left work and went straight to Union Station to meet up with my sister Lindsey. We jumped on Amtrak for a train to Penn Station in NYC.

We got up there around 7:30, with just enough time to buy our tickets for a quick trip out to Long Island. Lindsey is competing in the Miss MD pageant for the Miss USA pageant. She has coaches who live on Long Island. They are making her gown this year and needed to do a fitting. We got out there around 9 and went straight to their house. We spent a few hours with them (these are the same ones were went to Aruba with this year) and they fitted her gown. I think she will look even more beautiful this year, if that is possible.

We left their place at 1:30 AM and headed back to the train station to catch a train back into the city. We got back to Penn Station around 3:15 AM and took a cab from there to Rockefeller Center. When we got there, we found the line and there were already at least 80 people ahead of us. We spent the next few hours praying for it not to rain and for the time to pass quickly.

Around 5 AM, my friend Nic and his boyfriend Jordan showed up. They live in Chelsea and Nic is a huge Janet fan as well. Jordan claimed to know someone who worked security for the Today show, so he was going to try and get us VIP access. I was skeptical at best. Finally at 7:30, Jordan pulled us out of the general access line and over to a VIP line. I was thinking the whole time that if it didn't work out, I'd kill Jordan. I didn't stay up all night to miss seeing Janet!

By this time, they were letting the general access line into the plaza, but not the VIP line. Finally at 8:15 they let us into the building. We waited there a few minutes and I saw Meredith getting ready to go on air. She is very pretty in person, but a lot more wrinkles than I expected. Matt on the other hand was fine as fuck in person. Were I not consumed with craze at being moments away from seeing Janet, I definitely would have attacked him right then and there.

We finally got out to the Plaza, after being issued our VIP passes, and we were literally feet away from the stage. I was dying. We turned to look behind us and the general access people were at least 60 feet behind us. Jordan's friend came through! Finally Janet took the stage and I about died. She performed three songs, looked and sounded amazing, and did a short Q&A of fan submitted questions. It was so fucking awesome. It was over and done with in the blink of an eye, but so worth it.

After the concert, Lindsey and I said good-bye to Nic and Jordan. We called my friend Rob and met him for a minute outside of his office, right beside Rockefeller Center. From there we jumped in a cab and headed back to Penn Station. By noon we were already on our way back to DC. We got back around 3:30 and came to my apartment. We turned on the Tivo and checked the tape. Sure enough, you can see me on TV! When they interviewed Dane Cook, before Janet took the stage, you can see my head, right over Al's! There were a bunch of shots of them panning the crowds when you can see all four of us as well. Here is a picture from my camera phone, so you can see just how close we were to the stage.



All in all, it was an amazing twenty-four hours. In that short time, we went to and from New York, visited friends in Long Island, and saw most of my friends in the City, not to mention seeing Janet! AHHH!!! It still gets me all giddy just thinking about it.