nobody knows me

This weekend my dad's sisters all came into town. If ever I wished that I was adopted, it is when I am subjected to dealing with my dad's family. Other than my great aunt Theresa (the classiest woman I've ever met), I can't stand my dad's family. They are all ignorant, self-absorbed assholes. This is all due to my grandmother and the way she raised them. Apparently my grandfather wasn't like this, but he died when I was eight, so I don't remember much about unfortunately.

I guess I shouldn't say my dad's entire family is a bunch of assholes. It is mostly just his sisters. He has three sisters, each one more annoying than the other. His sister Regina is the one that lives in the area. She is Grandma reincarnate, a straight-up bitch that you dread spending two minutes with. She is so terrible that her two sons don't speak to her, and her son-in-law 'conveniently' was stationed back in Texas to escape her manipulations and meddling.

Janet is a piece of work all her own. She is by far the most obnoxious of them all. Thankfully, she and her lovely tube dresses live on the West Coast, so I only see her every few years. Lastly, there is Edwina. She is the baby of them and has never worked a day in her life. Now, there is nothing wrong with being a kept lady, but this bitch takes it to a whole new level. I think that I could tolerate Aunt Edwina, for a few days without anyone else around. But, throw her into the mix of everyone else and she is just another Schwartz bitch.

The worst part about this whole visit is that they are staying for nearly two weeks. For no reason. My grandparents are no longer living and they were never close with my great aunt. Even better, they are staying at my parents house. God bless my mother because she is the one who has to put up with them and entertain them.

My mother has always been the quiet and meek one in the relationship. My father treats my mom (and all of us) much better now than he did when we were younger. Not to paint the image that my dad is spouse abuser or anything, but I just don't think that he fully appreciated my mom the way that he does now. Anyway, when the family rolls into town, they just walk all over my mom and treat her like the town idiot. I swear that if I heard those women offer my mom one more bit of 'friendly advice' this weekend, I was going to have to bitch slap them.

My mom and I are very close and I don't take kindly to anyone treating her poorly. I have tried to talk her into standing up to them, but I don't think it will happen. It just isn't in her to do that. I really wish she would though. I would love to see my mom just snap and tell those cunts to go fuck themselves. Can you feel the love I have for them??? I know, it seems horrible, but if you spent a day with them, you'd understand where I am coming from.

The best part about a visit from my dad's family is that none of them know I am gay. Not surprising though since my dad just figured that out this fall. It isn't something that I have tried to hide from him, but I still haven't found the courage to sit down and talk to him about it. I know that he isn't going to turn me away or anything horrible like that, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.

My dad's family I'm guessing still thinks I'm straight. At least judging from some of the quality gifts I get for Christmas from them. Example, my NASCAR loving cousin Dan and his wife bought me a Playboy calendar last year. Awesome. I'll be sure to hang that right on my wall! There is nothing like opening a calendar full of naked women in front of your entire family.

The best part about this whole secret gay life is that I know my cousin Amy is a lesbian. She MUST be. I mean, bitch is a basketball and volleyball coach in Florida and still lives with a girl 'friend'. Uh huh. Bitch, you aren't fooling me. I don't need to smell your face to know a carpet muncher when I see one! Yet, I'm sure that just like everything in my dad's family, our homosexuality won't ever be openly discussed, just speculated on behind closed doors. Fine by me. The less they have to do with my life, the better off I am.