He's Your Cocaine

FUCK ME!!! As my girl Kim put it yesterday morning, I'm sprung. "Sweetheart, you got it bad. You are giggling and glowing. Oh Lord, you are sprung." Not cute!

All these years I've been single, I've been able to hide all my biggest insecurities and crazy tendencies. I was able to sit back and watch, counsel and laugh as my other friends went through relationships. Now I am the one who is acting all stupid, like the 12 year old girl with a crush. Fuck! And I know that each and every one of them is loving this, watching me go through a million emotions in just one phone call.

How the hell did this happen anyway? We went on two dates. Nothing more. And yet, I can't get the boy off my mind. How did someone slip past my outer defense system. Normally, I can keep someone at arm's distance for weeks. Apparently sir, you are my kryptonite.

There is major war going on inside my head right now. One side of my brain is yelling out all these rational things like, slow down, take a deep breath, enjoy the ride. Then there is the other side, the big woman side of my brain. God that bitch is loud. Of course she is drowning out that rational part of my brain. I'm. Going. Nucking. Futs.

This morning I could definitely feel a case of the crazies coming, approaching faster than the storm that blew through last night and a hell of a lot more destructive. What did I do? Did I cave into them? Nope. I went out running during lunch. No clue why, but running always has helped me to calm down and think things through. Maybe it is because that bitch in my head is too busy wheezing to scream irrational things at me. My thoughts just go spinning out of my head and then I can relax.

Now, I'm just sitting at my desk trying to lose myself in work. Yeah, I'm sure you can imagine how successful I've been at that. If I can just make it through the end of today without a crazy attack, then I'm good to go. Three hours is an awfully long time though when your "sprung".