Look Sexy, Talk Dirty

For the last few years, I've been making mix CDs of all the latest shit, mostly for myself. Then I started handing them out to my dance instructors (I took hip-hop dance classes, four times a week for two years. I really miss Ali and Matt, my instructors!) and some of my fellow students. It was always the hottest shit on pop/hip-hop/r&b radio.

Now that I have my own computer with high speed internet, I've been making CDs again. At the end of August I think I made one of the hottest CDs I've made, "Look Sexy, Talk Dirty". I handed it out to a few of my friends. Then word started spreading. I gave it to one of my bartender friend's at JR's. Suddenly other JR's bartenders were asking for it. People at work were coming up to my desk, people I don't even know nor have never met, asking me for a copy of the CD.

I was a little blown away. I don't do anything magical with my CDs. They aren't mixed, although I do put thought into the track list. I don't produce any of it. All I do is download it and burn it. Yet, I'm loving the fact that so many people are jamming out to a CD that I put together! It is such a compliment to have strangers asking me for a copy!

Speaking of music, only six more days until my girls Janet and Tori release their new CDs. I have already heard the entire Janet album and I LOVE IT! It is a true return to form for her. If you are a Janet fan at all, do yourself a favor and check out "Do It 2 Me" when the album drops next week.

Bitch

Turns out, I'm a bitch, even in my own dreams. I've been a total slacker in posting about this. Friday night I went out on a total gay DC bar crawl. From the start at happy hour until almost 2 AM, I hit Titan, JR's, Remington's and the Eagle. It was a great night out with some great old friends and some new ones.

I came home around 2 (alone, thank you very much!) and passed out. Or so I think. I woke up the next morning and realized that I'd had one of the best sex dreams of my life! First, the other guy looked like Rodrigo Santoro, particularly him in "Love Actually". This guy was HOT. One other little tiny thing. Apparently, in my dream, he was straight and dating my former friend Spotted C. In the dream I totally seduced Rodrigo, partly because he was hot, partly because I could (what with my irresistible sex appeal), but mostly because I wanted to fuck over Spotted C. Can we say vindictive bitch? I was actually amazed at how callous and mean-spirited I could be, even if it was in a dream! Meh, what can you do? It was only a dream, right??

The rest of the weekend was relatively tame, compared to Friday anyway. I spent Saturday and part of Sunday out with my family. Now that I am not living there any more, I can really appreciate them and love spending time with them again.

On Friday, I'm going to my first Bear Camping weekend with my friend Jim, his boyfriend and a couple of their friends. I haven't been camping since I was in Boy Scouts in high school. I'm looking forward to it though. Apparently, our camp site has electric outlets (for charging my iPod because God forbid I spend ONE WEEKEND without music!), and we are all sleeping on air mattresses. Definitely not the same kind of camping I experienced fifteen years ago! Well, that and all the BEARS! I'm sure there will be plenty to tell, and even more that will never leave the woods!

Has your salad been tossed?

I know I'm a few days behind on this, but it is too funny.

Make It Happen

I saw Mariah Carey on Thursday night at the Verizon Center. She was awesome. Her voice sounded beautiful and she hit all those "so high only dogs can hear them" notes. One more diva I can cross of my list. Now, if only Kylie would plan even a few tour dates in the US. Speaking of, BBCAmerica aired her Showgirl concert and also an interview special from this summer discussing her cancer. She looked really great and I'm glad that she recovered. Watching her discuss her treatments reminded me of how thankfully I am that I never had to go through chemo or radiation.

I should probably apologize now for the random directions this blog is about to head into. I just have had a couple things in my head that I need to get out. First, please for the love of God, stop trying to force me to find someone. I don't know why, but this week my single status has come up in conversation. A lot. Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes. Am I a little jealous of the relationships my best friends all have? Yes, a little. But, I know that if/when it happens it will be right for me. When I am ready. Let me repeat that, when I am ready.

For future reference, picking out some random guy in the bar that you think is perfect for me is not acceptable behavior. All you have done is make me feel like some cow you are trying to sell at market, and to the guy you are introducing me to, I seem pathetic. Thanks. I don't understand why I can't go out with my friends and just have a good time without someone, one well-intentioned person in particular, trying to find me a man.

Now, a completely different topic. We all remember Chester, right? Great. So, since that fateful night in May, we chat over company email from time to time. It is always basic and almost only about music. I make sure to not open up too much about my personal life, other than the standard "I had a great weekend. How was yours" bullshit. That all suddenly changed this week.
We have been chatting back and forth about some of the new music that is coming out (the new Justin Timberlake in particular. Can't wait for his album to drop on Tuesday). Out of the blue, Chester starts telling me all about how he ran into some ex the other day and about this crazy girl who has been stalking him over email. I read it all and then had to close the email. With that one email, he had suddenly taken me back two years. I was sitting there reading all his issues with women, trying to help him, secretly wishing that he would love me instead. Not gonna lie, I kinda had a little mental freak-out.

I waited a few hours and then wrote him back. Completely ignoring the huge paragraph about his relationship woes. He wrote me back the next day, AGAIN talking about women blah blah. I sat on that email for a couple hours, pondering how to proceed. Obviously, he was looking for some kind of comment from me.

I decided that ignoring it wouldn't work, so I tackled it head on. I wrote him back with a couple quips about his shitty love-life etc. Then I told him that it was really strange and a bit much for him to be talking to me about that shit. We only started talking again recently and I am totally not prepared for that kind of friendship with him. I let him know that I thought it was great that he feels he can open up to me, but to definitely not expect the same from me. There is no way in hell I'm ever letting him in close enough to hurt me again. Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.

He wrote me back and apologized for bringing all of that up to me. He said that he even thought that it might be too much, but he hates just having surface talks with people. The sad thing is, part of me still does want to open up to him again. For as fucked up as I KNOW he is, he was a great person to talk to. I can't go back to that place with him again though. And I won't.

I guess this is what I get for trying to be the bigger person and put the past behind us. Told you this post was going to be all over the place.

Mashed potatos, gravy and cranberry sauce!

Watch this and try not to piss your pants laughing. I dare you.

Ring the alarm . . .

Because I was on fire last night! I don't know what was in the air, but somehow I found myself in "the zone". I achieved that perfect balance of intoxication, wit and raw sexual energy. I got to the bar a little early and was alone, waiting for Chris to show up. I started feeling a little self-conscious, but told myself fuck it, I'm here to get drunk with my friends, not to win a beauty contest.

As the night wore on, I maintained a healthy buzz and started scanning the room, as a single boy is prone to do. That's when the eye sex started. My first victim, er uh target, was a cute former co-worker of another lady in our group. The eye sex with him went on for at least an hour. At one point we ended up in the bathroom, but no bitches, nothing happened. I'm classier than that! I waited outside the door for him and we chatted for a few moments. Maybe a few kisses were exchanged, but nothing too disgusting. Digits were exchanged and then we parted ways.

Over the rest of the night, there were two boys I engaged in the eye sex. I even grew so bold as to approach and speak to one of them. I just felt so confident and sexy for some reason. Maybe it is the beard. I always seem to do better with catching eyes when I have facial hair. Thank God I can grow a beard in less time than it takes for a pizza to be delivered.

Oh, and just so the record is clear, I did go home alone thank you very much. What a difference a few years make. The first time I lived alone in Dupont, I definitely would have had company after a night like last night! I did, however, stop in 7-11 on my way home. Maybe I had a craving for some taquitos and a lunchable. Shut up! It is my drunk food of choice for some unknown reason.