shake it off

I don't quite know what my deal is today. For some reason I am just not in the mood to be social and out with people in general. I am feeling very moody, and contemplative for some reason. Nothing horrible has happened this week. But nothing great happened this week either.

That is definitely part of the problem. I can't deal with not knowing where we stand on this damn apartment. It is driving me crazy. I am a very impatient person to begin with, so it is killing me that one week after submitting our applications we have no clue where we stand.

I was invited out to dinner with Nick and Schmoopy and wanted to go, but I knew that I wouldn't be much fun. Tonight is definitely one of those nights where I need to not leave my couch and just lose myself in a movie or something. I definitely need a night in the apartment alone though.

I think that some of my friends are beginning to think that I am a shut-in or something because I have not been out that much at all lately. I am not becoming anti-social or anything. That has nothing to do with it. I am just so tired of the sameness of it all.

Without the alcohol-haze to alter my perceptions of a night out, I see now that it really never changes any. I think that anyone playing the role of "sober sister" for a night can relate. Between this apartment uncertainty and the sameness of gay DC, something has got to give. Maybe it is time for me to take a break from the scene for a while and find some other diversions.

I haven't picked up my camera since San Francisco, even then that was the first time in over two years. I really miss the creative outlets that photography and, even more so, my dance classes gave me. I think it helped break up the monotony of the week. Maybe it is finally time for me to put the demons from summer 2004 behind me and return to Joy of Motion.