smack my bitch (of a roommate) up

After my pleasant evening out with Scott, I expected to come home to some sort of chaos. Alex had decided to go out to JR's this evening. This is a fun equation that I am very familiar with. Take one socially awkward gay-boy, throw in a low tolerance for cheap booze and give it a twist of self-medication of prescription pills and weed. This gives us the end result of an apartment that is torn apart, a stereo turned up as high as it will go, and said gay boy passed the fuck out on his bed with all the lights still on. Good times.

When I got home, I saw that the TV was on as I opened the door. What I was not prepared for was the aroma of weed that would beat me about the face as if I owed it money. I walk into the living room to confront Alex for smoking outside of his room. Much to my surprise, Alex was not alone. No, this isn't surprising in and of itself. What was surprising that the TWO, count them 1-2, guys were not illegal latin immigrants. Holy white boys Gayman!

I located Alex, nearly passed out, on the couch. I said to him, "So, we smoke in the living room now?" His response? "Oh, I wasn't aware that this room belonged to your friend". He is so fucking lucky that I didn't walk over there and slap that shit-eating grin right off of his face. Instead, I walked back out of the room and started fuming. A few calls, and some aggressively folded laundry later, his friends left. As soon as the door shut behind them, I went to Alex's room to talk.

I knocked on his door and he told me to come in. He was already in bed with the lights off when I came in. I told him that I did not appreciate the way that he just disrespected me and to never do that again. He, of course, has no clue what I am talking about. I tell him why I am pissed and his response, instead of an apology, is to say that he has tolerated Nick staying on our couch for the last two months. First of all, this has not one fucking thing to do with Nick staying with us. This has everything to do with you showing ME no respect whatsoever. I have said from the day that we moved in together that I didn't want ANYONE smoking in the house. If he was going to smoke weed, I wanted him to do that shit in his room with the door closed. For a long time, he followed that and respected my request. Recently, he has been lax in that though. Not any more.

You see, I still have to live in this apartment after you move out in ten days. Please try and respect me and the fact that I will continue to live here even after you move out. His weird sense of logic then assumes that I am pissed that he had someone over to the house. Actually no. I couldn't care about that. In fact, I am happy that your awkward ass was able to make some equally freakish friends. That just means that you will be bugging me that much less when you want to go out.

I know this may come as a surprise to some of you reading this, but I really can't fucking wait for him to move out. November 29th and 30th cannot get here soon enough.