take a chance on me

"If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. Honey, I'm still free. Take a chance on me"

I feel like a million thoughts have been going through my mind lately. First, where the fuck am I going to live come November 1? I suppose I can stay in my current apartment, or in worst case scenario move home (suppresses shudder). Secondly, when will I find a new job? Thirdly, am I really becoming a bear? Because I am pretty sure that I started my hibernation this weekend if so.

One thing that has been in the back of mind for months is what, if anything, will ever happen between Tipple B and I. We haven't dated in over three years now, even though, there has been this little part of me that always felt like we might get back together one day. I never had any set time-table for if/when this might happened, just that one day it may.

While I was out in Chicago, I had one morning to myself to wander the city and think some things out. One thing that kept coming to my mind was Triple B. No matter how much I tried to push it out of mind, it kept popping back up. Then last night, I think I'd finally had enough. As we had our normal Sunday night "how was your weekend" chat, things got a touch flirty. It was at this point that I decided I couldn't handle the what ifs and maybes any more.

When I got to work this morning, I started composing an email to him just to let him know what has been running through my mind and to see where he stands. It took me almost two hours, and multiple chats with friends over what to say. Finally, I said fuck it and sent the email. Then, because I am the most impatient person on earth, I went running so that I wouldn't sit staring at my Inbox, waiting for a response.

Low and behold, Triple B amazed me and actually called me to talk instead of just an email. Who knows what is going to happen from here, but we have tentative plans to meet for dinner and talk about all this in person. At least this will hopefully be one less then hanging in the balance when I try to sleep at night.

"I can't sleep at night, when you are on my mind."