this shit is bananas

To all my hollaback girls, this weekend truly was B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Normally I am not one to post a blog all about the things that I remember (or don't remember) from the weekend. However, this weekend I think was special and deserves mentioning.

First, Nick and I really gave it to the fans at Black Pride at Wet/Edge on Friday. I dropped down to get my eagle on like a pro. Even a black boy from Puerto Rico told me I was his favorite white boy in the club. Not that I had that much competition for that title! From there, I even gave an impromptu performance of Lose My Breath in the parking lot of the ghetto McDonalds in SE. Classy and classic at the same time.

Saturday, you would think would have been tame since I was with my family all day. Nope. This time we gave it to the country western fans at Remington's. Not only us, but our Boston besties Liz and Catherine too. First, we out-sang people doing karaoke, the gave the performance of a life-time to Proud Mary. Big wheels keep on turning in deed.

Now, when one of your best friends is going through troubling times, what do you do? You take her out to an all you can drink brunch with a Boo-ffet. But, the day didn't end there. From brunch with my girlfriend Desi (a picture will follow soon of the two of us), we chilled in the circle and then moved the party to JR's. There may have been a secret long island iced tea in there too. These things do 'appen.

At JR's is where the night gets hazy and I can only hope the others can help me out. I know that there was inappropriate touching of people and possibly some three-way church tongue. I do remember getting fed-up with JR's and moving on to Lizard alone. On the way, I ran into the Black Girls and went with them. At Lizard, I know we were on the 3rd floor, I know that a lot of people showed up and I know that there was more inappropriate touching. In fact, I know that the inappropriate touching continued at my house and in my bed. There may have even been an offer of a three-way. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Even with 12 solid hours of drinking, no one had a wasted hook-up. That I know of. The day is still young and we all haven't checked in to play the "I Remember/I Don't Remember" game. God I love Mondays.

things just ain't the same

The other night I was blessedly home alone, doing laundry and watching MPT. I started by watching "American Perspective: Patty Hearst". What a fascinating story that is. Did she really have Stockholm syndrome, or was the bitch just crazy? After that, I watched a two hour special on Galileo. Right now I am reading a biography about him that focuses on not only his amazing philosophical, astrological and mathematical advances, but also his relationship with his eldest daughter.

Wow. What an exciting life right? Well, as I was folding my whites, I really started thinking about Galileo and how amazing his life was and what an impact he had on the world around him. I wonder if there are people like that today, who have made such an impact on the world that five hundred years from now people will still learn about them. Or, has this 'digital age' erased the creativity and drive that existed back in the 16th century.

Sure, if I didn't have TiVo, digital cable, an mp3 player, the internet, I'd probably discover a lot more about the world around me. It really made me feel guilty then for sitting in front of the TV all night, when I could have been out discovering some new star or something. Then I started thinking that maybe we are running out of things to 'discover'. Who knows.

All I do know is that I really would not be able to survive without music. Sure, I love TV. I love all of it, the drama, the ridiculous and the trashy. But, I could learn to live without it. I'd read a lot more, probably go outside more often and enjoy the museums, parks, and bars (let's be honest, it is me we are talking about) that DC has to offer.

There is no way in hell I can survive a day without music though. It really affects me in ways that I can't even begin to describe. Just ask my girls, I will nearly wet myself with excitement if they start playing a Janet song in the bar/club. I think I've heard "If" a million times, yet hearing it is like the first time all over for me. Only it isn't just Janet that does this to me. A life without music is to me the worst form of hell on earth. That said, if anyone ever tries to steal my mp3 player, they are going to be in for the fight of their life!

like a virgin

Through all my various art history/literature classes in school, I learned about the two main archtypes women have been portrayed as, the virgin and the whore. The basic theory is that men see woman as whores that they can use and abuse, or as virgins that are to be 'worshipped'. A man of the 16th century would look for that virgin trophy wife and then bang the hired help on the side.

What on earth does this all have to do with a gay boy in the twenty first century? Well, I fear that I have fallen under this mentality as well. I have this 'friend' with 'benefits'. Ours is solely based on the sex. We don't hang out together at bars, we don't meet for dinner or coffee, we just get together and have sex. Now, there is nothing wrong with an arrangement like this in today's age, as long as everyone is on the same page. Thankfully, we both understand that this is not a relationship and there is no place for emotions.

However, I wonder if I am totally desensitizing myself by separating all emotions from sex with this individual. I can't help but think that his may impact any future relationships that I have. That I will only want that 'virgin trophy wife' and then go get my 'benefits' somewhere else. Only time will tell I guess. And until I meet someone I'm interested in dating I'll keep right on benefiting from this situation.

a sorta fairytale

This should have posted on May 10, but I sat on it for a while. I have since decided that there is no reason to hide my thoughts and feelings from my blog. And now, without further ado, I give you 'a sorta fairytale'.

Why is it that just when you think you have moved on in your life, something comes along and pulls you right back? Exes. What the hell good are they anyway??? So last night, I am out with the girls headed to a bar after a nice relaxing swim. As we are walking down the street, I get a voicemail from my ex Brian. He is obviously wasted and telling me how much he loves Vegas and how it is the place for me and the girls. He goes on about how we should all plan a weekend away there, blah blah. Initial reaction upon hearing said drunk message? Smile and giggle a little like a school girl. Why? I have no clue. We haven't dated for TWO YEARS now and so much has changed that I sometimes think we were two completely different people back then. Yet, for some reason I cannot let go completely of the idea of he and I together.

Part of me thinks this is just because he was the first guy I ever had real feelings for and any semblance of a relationship with. Yet, this other part of me can't help but think that he still feels it too. For starters he is the one that looked me up after a year of not talking. Why? Why bother to get back in touch with me after all that time? He said at the time he was hoping to try things again, but now he just enjoys my stories of shenanigans with the girls. I just don't know. Obviously I am not letting this stop me from going out and meeting (and meating) new people, but there is always this tiny little voice in the back of my head that thinks about how great it would be to settle down with Brian in a few years and start a family. Ugh. I really effing hate exes. This is way too much for a hung over Tuesday morning!!!

Why hung over on a Tuesday you ask? Well, that would be because my friend Jamie came into town last night and took us to this sorta sketchy bar, the Fireplace, and was buying drinks and shots for everyone. Bad news right there!!! Life is too short though I suppose to be worried about things like that.

Spring Haze

I guess it really is true when they say that you can't go home. This past weekend I spent most of it with my family, to celebrate Mother's Day. At the same time this was happening, it was also the annual Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival. My little sister and I raised sheep for six years and used to go to this about every year. We stopped going though once we no longer were in 4-H, about nine years ago. My mom decided since it was such a beautiful day that she wanted to spend part of it outside at the Sheep and Wool Festival. I agreed and was excited to go.

I threw on my favorite Diesel Jeans, spiked my blonde highlighted hair and was ready to go. Little did I know that my fashion choices would be wasted on blind eyes. We showed up and I was immediately reminded of why I moved to DC. I haven't seen that much Jordache denim in one place since the local Ames department store went out of business. It was a real eye-opener to me, just to see how far along I've come since I started college.

My friend Jamie tells me all the time how proud of me he is and how far I have come. I never really believed and would just politely thank him. This weekend really showed me how right he is about my progress in life. I loved my upbringing as a farm boy in the country and wouldn't change a thing about it, but there is no way I want that life now. I think that occasionally visiting Remington's is enough country for me!

I want a good life

So, here it is. My first blog posting. I'm sure you are asking yourself, what on earth is this one going to be posting about? That's the thing, I'm not sure. Basically, I'm thinking of this as a way to get off my chest the things that are running through my head every night before I fall asleep.

As a young boy I had all these ambitions of being a doctor, or a veterinarian, or even a college professor. And yet, here I sit in a mediocre retirement firm, watching the clock slowly tick to 5 PM. Every day is one more day wasted in a job that I don't love, another day I leave work ready to scream. The time has finally come for me to do something about this.

Thankfully, I have two wonderful parents who are pushing me (read as nagging the shit out of me every time I see them) to get out there and figure out what it is exactly that I 'want to be when I grow up'. Over the last few weeks I have really given this a lot of thought. Two possibilities keep coming to mind. The first is going back to school and get a Masters in Education. I have and will always love children. To me, I think it would be so rewarding to spend my day 'teaching America's youth'. I know, I sound incredibly naive and optimistic. I realize that starting as a teacher in Washington, DC I'll probably be baby-sitting tomorrow's hooligans. But, someone has to do it. And, the thought of three months off every year sounds pretty damn good right now!

What about the low pay though? Yes, salary is definitely a big consideration to me. I mean, couture clothing does not buy itself! But, I also have to take into account how much of my happiness I am sacrificing every day, just for a little more spending money. There comes a time when you have to grow up and realize that life can't always be about the next happy hour or Friday night drunk-fest.

My other thought is to go to school for a Masters in International Politics. I majored in Spanish, so it would be nice to actually put my degree to a little bit of use. One of the biggest reasons I'm considering this is that my parents offered to send me abroad again to learn a second language. Since I already studied one year of French, Paris here I come! At the same time, I'd study Arabic too because ultimately my goal will be a job with the State Department.

I know, two completely different paths staring me in the face. There is a lot that I need to consider. And, while all of this is going on I'm still trying to find a new job. Too much for a Friday morning!! Ok, enough for now. I can't overload my fans in my first posting! No worries, I'm sure over the next few months, I'll revisit this multiple times.