she's crafty

This past weekend I escaped the city and went to Baltimore and then my parents house. I went to Baltimore to see Isabelle on her first birthday. She is so freaking ADORABLE!!! She had just started walking that day. I can't get over how big she is getting. I am more than a little jealous of Jeff and the life that he has now, a house, family, dog. You know, all that bullshit all-American dream stuff. Eh, my day will come.

After her party, I went back to my parents and just watched some TV before passing out. On Saturday, I went shopping with my parents to get the materials to reupholster some furniture. I am taking my mom's old dining room set for my new apartment. Oh right, the apartment that I still don't have. FYI, the place that we were looking at in Adams Morgan fell through. Apparently the landlords never check their messages and thought that we didn't want the place. Whatever.

So, mom and I picked out some fabric and paint for the chairs and table. We then had to run a couple other errands and didn't get home until almost dinner time. While mom made us dinner (God I love my mom's cooking), I started taking apart the chairs from the set. After dinner, it was officially time for Schwartz Family Craft Hour. Mom, Dad and I all sat at the kitchen table and reupholstered these four chair seats. Good times! Please try not to be jealous of my exciting Saturday night.

Actually, it was really fun to spend that time with my parents. They were telling me more stories from the cruise and showed me a couple pictures taken by eh ship photographer. In one picture, my mom had her girls proudly on display. I am pretty sure she was wearing just pasties underneath her suit jacket. Of course we were laughing about that. Hehe. Nothing says funny like your mom showing off too much cleavage to a boat of retirement age men!

All that family craft hour fun totally drained me, so I crashed pretty early Saturday night. On Sunday I got up and ran some more errands with my parents in the morning. When we got home, Lindsey was home to visit. We sat down and had a little family lunch, the first time we've all had a meal together in months. After lunch, my dad decided that Schwartz Family Craft Hour should become Schwartz Family Craft Weekend.

All of the apples on our property are ripe now, so mom and dad decided to make some apple sauce with 10 gallons of apples. My dad decided to use the rest to make apple cider in a apple press he bought last year. Yes, that's right. Sunday I spent the afternoon making apple sauce and then apple cider. Who does that? Besides the Amish anyway. Lindsey and I were cracking up laughing the whole time. We decided that when we apply for the Amazing Race, part of our video will be us making apple sauce and cider. Who wouldn't want us on TV, what with our amazing skills with apples and other farm chores!

All in all, it was a great weekend and a much needed vacation from everything that has been annoying me about the city lately. And now I have Chicago to look forward to in just two days.

can't take my eyes off you

There he was, standing across from me. I hadn't seen him in about six months, but I recognized him immediately. We locked eyes and I almost melted inside. There is something about his eyes that drives me crazy. The way he looks at me, with such intensity and that hint of a grin, I just can't resist him.

We continue this little game for at least ten minutes. As far as I'm concerned, it is only he and I in the room. Nothing else exists around me. We continue staring at each other for a good five minutes. Neither of us willing to be the first to look away.

The way he looks at me drives me crazy. It makes me want to push people out of the way and ravage him right there. He isn't the hottest guy I've ever seen, not even someone that would necessarily stand out in a crowded bar. But, the intensity radiating behind his eyes is more than I can handle.

Eventually we part ways, still staring at each other until we can no longer see each other. Will I see him again? I hope so. DC is not that big, so the odds are in my favor. Next time I will approach him and at least find out his name. Moments like that should not be passed up.

crazy

I should have posted this yesterday, but didn't have time at work. I ride the 80 Metro bus to work each morning. It is pretty ghetto, and I expect a certain amount of ghetto behavior each time I get on the bus. Yesterday was special though.

When I got on the bus, there was a man sitting in the first forward facing seat, speaking loudly. I had my iPod on, so I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying. Once I sat down, I paused my shuffle to hear what he was yelling about. I heard something about Mike Tyson and god damn Magic Johnson I'll see you soon. What? This was when I realized we had a certified crazy on the bus.

As we continued down North Capitol St., I noticed that this man was wearing one blue latex glove on his left hand, with a hospital-type bracelet around his wrist. Then I noticed that he had a hospital gown draped across his lap. Did this dude just get released from the mental hospital? I was very glad I was not sitting anywhere next to him.

I paused my shuffle once more only to hear him cussing up a storm about something. At this point, the bus driver yelled at him and said that he didn't mind that he was talking, but no cussing. Huh? You call that talking? You have got to be kidding me. I guess he was afraid of what the guy would do if he told him to shut up.

The final coup de gras was when I was getting off the bus at work. The bus had stopped to wait for a light to change when the guy stood up and shouted "The fucking bus just won't move, so I guess I'll just have to shit here on the bus". Excuse me? He then started spreading out his hospital gown in front of him. Was this man really going to drop his pants and shit on the bus?

Unfortunately, I was already late for work and couldn't stay to watch the rest of this drama unfold. Who knows if he really did shit on the bus, but it was a morning ride that I will never forget. Gotta love the DC bus system.

shake it off

I don't quite know what my deal is today. For some reason I am just not in the mood to be social and out with people in general. I am feeling very moody, and contemplative for some reason. Nothing horrible has happened this week. But nothing great happened this week either.

That is definitely part of the problem. I can't deal with not knowing where we stand on this damn apartment. It is driving me crazy. I am a very impatient person to begin with, so it is killing me that one week after submitting our applications we have no clue where we stand.

I was invited out to dinner with Nick and Schmoopy and wanted to go, but I knew that I wouldn't be much fun. Tonight is definitely one of those nights where I need to not leave my couch and just lose myself in a movie or something. I definitely need a night in the apartment alone though.

I think that some of my friends are beginning to think that I am a shut-in or something because I have not been out that much at all lately. I am not becoming anti-social or anything. That has nothing to do with it. I am just so tired of the sameness of it all.

Without the alcohol-haze to alter my perceptions of a night out, I see now that it really never changes any. I think that anyone playing the role of "sober sister" for a night can relate. Between this apartment uncertainty and the sameness of gay DC, something has got to give. Maybe it is time for me to take a break from the scene for a while and find some other diversions.

I haven't picked up my camera since San Francisco, even then that was the first time in over two years. I really miss the creative outlets that photography and, even more so, my dance classes gave me. I think it helped break up the monotony of the week. Maybe it is finally time for me to put the demons from summer 2004 behind me and return to Joy of Motion.

home ain't where his heart is (anymore)

I am so sick of coming home to my apartment on First St. Mostly because it is on First St. I am tired of living in "red-hot Bloomingdale". No Craig's List, Bloomingdale is actually not red-hot. You aren't going fool me with your listing of "near Dupont" anymore. An apartment at S St. and North Capitol is NOT near Dupont!

It is not that my part of town is horrible. Actually, I think it is going to be a great place to live in another year or two. And if you have a car and are trying to settle down and raise a family. None of those things describe me right now. Yes, I want a family, but no way in hell that is happening in the next year or two.

Last night Nick and I were scheduled to view another apartment, but that fell through. Of course the place had already been rented. Instead, we decided to head out to Pentagon for a little shopping. Which is always better than staying home with my crazy roommate.

I don't think I'd be able to stomach my place at all anymore if it weren't for Nick being there to suffer through it with me. It makes things more bearable when you have someone to bitch to and who can relate to what you are going through.

I'm sure that through my constant bitching, I've painted Alex out to be this horrible person. He really isn't a bad guy, just socially awkward and we have completely different lifestyles. I am neat and orderly, he is a forgetful, slovenly pot-head.

It will be such a relief to get into a new apartment. Because I am all worked-up and stressed about finding a place, I have been eating like a fat-girl on the run from fat camp. Just look at the wonderful zits popping up on my face for the evidence! Good times. Hopefully, only a few more weeks of this though. I don't think that I can take much more! I have no clue how Nick has done it, living on couches for the last two months.

two of a kind, working on a full house

Nick and I are still waiting on the edge of our seats for word on an apartment. Right now I feel completely unsettled. I haven't even started packing or anything, but I just feel like my life is changing, even though nothing really has changed. Yet. Part of the problem is that mentally I have already moved out of the apartment with Alex. I am beyond the point of even being able to tolerate living with him anymore. Even the tiniest little things are enough to set me off now. I just need to know one way or another if this place is going to be ours.

Then the real fun begins. I loathe packing, but I love unpacking, cleaning and organizing. I can't wait to get into a new place and decide where everything is going to go. I am one of those anal people who needs for the regular spoons, tea spoons and soup spoons to all be separated. God help you if you get them mixed up in the drawer!! hehe. OK, I am not THAT bad that I would blow up over something that little, but I will definitely come along and put them back "where they belong". Stupid things like that make me feel more at ease at home. OCD??? Probably. What can you do???

Last night Nick and I watched the movie, Crash. It was a great movie, one of those that makes you uncomfortable and keeps building up all this tension. Nick made a great point about how the movie took place in LA, but it could have easily been any city in the US. It really made me consider myself and my own racial prejudices.

Even though I grew up in a farm community with only about 10 minorities in a school of 2000, I never thought of myself as racist. I know that I have some prejudices, all of do to some degree, I think my parents did a phenomenal job raising three kids who are completely comfortable with people of all races, religions and any other differences. All three of us have "dated" (we will use that as a blanket term for this discussion) black men. If you saw where I grew up, you would see this as more of a miracle than as something normal in this day and age.

I am thankful for all of the things that my parents have done for me, but raising me to be an open-minded individual ranks high on that list. If I weren't so open-minded, I can't even imagine how many different people I'd have missed the opportunity to "date"!

confessions, pt. 2

Just as I expected, my questions about Travis have answered themselves. My parents left on a cruise Saturday morning, so I went out to the house that afternoon to take care of the dogs for the night. I asked Travis to come out with me that night, so that we could hang out. I picked him up in Rockville and we had dinner with his rehab friend Stephanie. We had to pick her up because she is no longer living with her parents. Apparently she got drunk last week and her parents threw her out. Can we say drama?

So, after a quick dinner at Chipotle, Travis and I headed out to the hills of Carroll County. We started watching Sin City once we got home. Throughout the entire movie though, Travis would get up every twenty minutes or so and head to the bathroom, many times with his cup in hand. The first time I didn't think anything of it. Until he came back and I thought I smelled alcohol. As the night progresses, my suspicions only grew greater.

I couldn't prove that he was drinking for sure though. I sat there thinking to myself as to what I should do. At first I thought that I would be a prick and confront him about it. Then I decided that I am not his mother, his sponsor nor his nurse, so it is no business of mine. So I sat there thinking to myself, if you want to fuck up your life, go right ahead. Just know that you will not be dragging me down with you and I will not sit on the sidelines and watch you destroy what little life you have left.

We finally went to bed around 2, and of course by that time he was too drunk to even hook-up. Yes, I still wanted to hook-up with him. I sure as hell didn't invite him out to stay up all night discussing world politics. The next morning we woke up and he seemed fine. Nothing was said about his behavior the night before or anything.

After we were showered and dressed, we decided to watch another movie before I took him back to Rockville. Once again, the whole carrying my drink to the bathroom process started again. Yup, apparently he was drinking again at 10 AM. Awesome. We finished the movie and then went for a walk around the farm and through all the barns. The entire time, he was carrying around a can of "Coke" with him. I later found out this was full of wine. My parents wine.

When we left my parents, we stopped to get something to eat. During lunch, he asked me three times what I was doing Sunday night. Each time it was as if the previous time did not even happen. By the third time he asked, I was so frustrated that I considered telling him I had a bukake orgy planned for the night. When I finally dropped him off, I had decided that I was done with him and would not be seeing him again.

Alas, fate was conspiring against me. When we went to dinner with Steph on Saturday, she gave Travis a suitcase to take back to her parents house. Of course neither of us remembered it was in the trunk when I dropped him off. So, I had to go back to Rockville and drop that off. Thankfully, Steph's family was outside when I got there, so I gave it to them and didn't have to see him.

I got back to my parents house and started packing up my stuff to head back to the city. When I went out into the kitchen, I noticed that the bottle of wine on the counter was no longer there. I went and looked in the recycling and there it was. On the bright side, as Jim so wonderfully pointed out, at least he recycled.

Apparently the temptation of a bottle of wine on the counter was too great for him. That made me feel a little sad and guilty, like I should have known to lock up the alcohol in the house or something. But, then I realized that I am not responsible for his actions. If he thought it would be a problem, all he had to do was say something to me and I would have locked it up, no problem.

Upon further inspection of the house, I found his cell phone on the couch. Ugh, just great. Once more, fate is fucking with me. There is no way to avoid talking to him now. But, I will not have to see him because I am putting that phone in the mail today.

If he calls tonight, I'll explain to him that his phone is on its way to him and that I don't think it is a good idea for us to see each other any more. I will try to be diplomatic, but if he keeps pressing me, I'll let him know that he needs to work his shit out before he tries to date someone.

Thank God I had no expectations about this and found it all out very early, before I had a chance to make any sort of connection or attachments to him. Lesson learned.

take me out to the ballgame

Tonight I am off to my very first Nationals game. Finally. I am really excited because I don't think that I have been to a baseball game since I moved out of Baltimore. True, I am not much of a sports fan, but there is something fun about going to a baseball game every once in a while.

In other news, I think the apartment hunt is finally over. I haven't said much about this until now, for fear of jinxing anything. I have been looking for an apartment with Nick for about a month now. Hopefully, all of the searching and uncertainty is about to end. All I want is to know where I will be calling home for the next year, at least. If all goes according to plan, we will be moved into our new place before the end of the month. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

The Percolator

Highlight of a boring Tuesday back at work? My first ride on the Circulator bus across town. It is clean, and not filled with the usual assortment of characters you can find on the 80. Oh, AND it only costs $1. Do what? That's right, only one dollar. Very handy for the days I feel like taking a long lunch in China Town, or if I really feel motivated, for an afternoon of shopping in Georgetown.

The only way the Circulator could be improved would be to start a marketing campaign using "The Percolator" as its theme song. "It's time for the Circulator. It's time for the Circulator."

Confessions

Last week, I met a guy. We will leave the how/where/when to another place and time. So I met Travis and we exchanged phone numbers. Having played this game a million times before, I had no expectations nor hopes about this being anything other than getting a phone number. Low and behold though, Travis called me the next day to get together. I was pleasantly surprised.

I called him back and setup a date for Saturday evening. We made no specific plans, but I had a couple ideas in mind for something that wasn't the typical dinner/drinks/movie type date. Saturday afternoon I called to reaffirm our plans and he told me that he had something planned for later that night, but that he wanted to see me that afternoon. I agreed, and soon was on metro to Rockville. Oh yes, I metro-ed out to MD to see this boy.

His roommate Stephanie and her friend came along with him to pick me up at metro. It was in the car that I had the biggest shock of the weekend. We were all having a very casual conversation when Stephanie mentioned that she hasn't seen any movies in the last year because she was away. I, being the curious bitch I am, asked where she was. Stephanie responds that she was in rehab. At this point, Travis turns to me and says that he and Stephanie met in rehab. All of this conversation was carried on as if they were explaining to me that the sky is blue.

Stunned doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I'm sure my face must have been priceless. I tried my best to recover and just go along with the flow. I think it is great that they both recognize they have problems and were doing something about it, I just didn't expect for that, nor for someone to be so nonchalant about the whole thing.

Now I have found myself in a position that I have never been in before. Do I continue to even talk to this guy or do I just write him off and leave it? On the one hand, it isn't fair to stop talking to someone just because they fucked up in their past. Who hasn't fucked up and done things they wish they hadn't? Then again, this is more than just a "damn, I can't believe I slept with THAT" type of past situation. This is something that he is going to basically spend the rest of his life confronting and battling.

I guess that right now it is simply too early for me to make that kind of decision. I probably will get together with him again. Who knows, he could have a sixth toe that I don't know about and have to send him packing anyway. Or, he could be someone really amazing and worth getting to know better. At least he was honest and up-front from the start. God, imagine finding all this out a month or two after dating!